I miss him all the time .
But especially, Ive noticed, randomly, in the most absurd moments I think of him. When I'm deeply engrossed in doing something.When frustrated about not getting something right and breaking my head on something , I suddenly lose focus and turn away to see the reality around me. That is when I remember the old happy times. In that refreshing pause.That reassuring moment....that real life is just fine. I feel nice about that. That its all okay. Everything is just fine.
I feel happy about feeling that feeling.
And I'm glad that he chose the life he did because that created all those pleasant memories that I keep falling back on today. He taught me this one thing among countless others , not to lose focus of reality.
Today on the site , with all the construction going on, this labourer woman was busy piling bricks on her head struggling to meet the deadline I had imposed on her and the other workers. Her 10 month old child was playing in the sand. And every break she took she spent playing with him and holding him. I noticed that today. Until yesterday I only felt bad , felt pity..I even got from home a old worn out chaddar for the poor child to make myself feel better (I believe charity is a selfish act done to feel good about oneself)
But today I saw them so happy , playing and laughing just like any other family.
And I smiled .. and I missed him yet again ...
and I smiled.
I don’t know what u call it…. Not simply co incidence for sure ….. similar or exact thoughts were lingering in my mind for some time!!!...
ReplyDeleteThere are so many people in our lives … you meet people you forget people……
People come and go ……
But some make such impact on your life that, that space in your life, yourself is un fillable by anything else … its not like one wants to replace it with something … you know you are on your own now, you have learnt to be on your own and you are going good … still that place, rather that feeling is unmatchable un alterable …. And that makes me little/tiny sad but a lot more happy .. I am happy that something like that happened to me …. And as u rightly said I am happy feeling about that feeling … and it certainly makes me unit with realty …
Well Sameer,
ReplyDeletesome things I believe in , of which one is that there are no coincidences.
The people that come and go in our lives, the events that take place , our experiences and the way we react to each situation makes us the person we are. And yes, the fact that you are happy that certain memories took place is because you have accepted it as an experience and learned to let go.
Its what is growing up. :)